What is really going on!?...

A blog full of endless glory, lifestyle hammers and super serious shenanigans. Updated at unusual times and from unusual places... you probably wont like it.

Kite wave world tour???

While I’m on here ranting and raving about shit no one really gives a fuck about I figured I would take this opportunity to rant some more about just that - KSP.

Firstly wtf… I’m not sure whether to laugh cry or just be genuinely confused when I see almost any type of media from this charade. But I know one thing is for sure, it’s a joke… 

They couldn’t pick a worse spot for a competition based on actually trying to “ride” waves than One- Eye. This spot has almost full offshore wind and massive waves, making even the most experienced of riders look like total kooks. If anything they should have held a fucking speed comp there… They could have even got the local police or someshit to come down and use their speed camera to clock how fast everyone is going.

Hey here’s how it could have worked:
1. Go out, find the biggest wave you can.
2. Go as fast as you can on the wave and try and break the record your friend has set. 
3. Come in, do a shot of tequila, snort a line of coke, pat yourself on the back and tell the live-feed how gnarly and radical you are and how much of a top bloke everyone else is. 

OH WAIT… that’s pretty much what happens already.

To add insult to injury they run a womens division…
(Now I’m not against women doing any sort of sport and some women can actually be fucking good at things - hell there’s lots of women out there that are better than me at probably everything I can do)… But this Womens division was a joke. I’m not sure I have ever seen anything this bad being done under a “world tour” label in any sport in my entire life… Hooked in riding, doing mild “squigglys” light-years infront of any hittable lip… I’m not exactly sure what “KSP” stands for but my initial assumption of “Kunce Suck Pole” is slowly seeming like a highly logical option.
 
Here’s one of their “keepers” from day one… I’m sure there’s a lip somewhere.:

I guess if you’re here(?) you may well be thinking “Where’s all the sick pictures from when you were overseas”… and I guess you’re also probably thinking I’m going to upload some. Well truth is I don’t think I even took anything worth posting and if I did I’m sure as hell not locating the camera and subsequent cord involved with uploading said images anytime soon. As compensation though here’s a few pictures I found on my desktop because I’m to lazy to put them into a folder -

The first is Cam Prest giving this single rail a little nudge and the second photo is me trying to bs3 into a foot of rocky water before I had even ollied it… Mum always said I was the bright one in the family. 

Thought this little gem of an interview with Frank G, was a perfect match to my photo below…

Shakas braaaaaaaaaa.

p.s. News just in - Frank G recently nominated for funniest cunce in woodpushing award.

Here’s a little pic I took the other day and found somewhat amusing… How’s this for a laugh - some “Sea Sweeper Specialist” starts a shop (or whatever the fuck it is) and wonders, "What could I call my shop that would sound cool and edgy"… "I know Mongoboards sounds like a sick name!".http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Pushing+MongoYeah right, good fucking call old bud… You picked probably the worst name I could possibly think of. You might have well have called it “Pooboards”, it would have had a similar ring to it, and the same classic effect on me when I saw your van across the street.Actually makes me think, I wonder if I know this guy… or for sure someone I know knows this guy… Maybe he will see my blog, that would be fucking cool. 

Here’s a little pic I took the other day and found somewhat amusing… How’s this for a laugh - some “Sea Sweeper Specialist” starts a shop (or whatever the fuck it is) and wonders,
"What could I call my shop that would sound cool and edgy"…
"I know Mongoboards sounds like a sick name!".

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Pushing+Mongo

Yeah right, good fucking call old bud… You picked probably the worst name I could possibly think of. You might have well have called it “Pooboards”, it would have had a similar ring to it, and the same classic effect on me when I saw your van across the street.

Actually makes me think, I wonder if I know this guy… or for sure someone I know knows this guy… Maybe he will see my blog, that would be fucking cool. 

What the f#ck…

Yeah, I know at least 1 (or probably closer to zero) people are thinking it and you’re right… What happened to this blog. To be honest, I’m a lazy piece of work and I don’t like doing shit that I should or could be doing. I like doing whatever I want to do, which is usually not a great deal, so this blog got left behind like all the other things I half do and then put in the corner some where.

I would like to promise that I’m going to keep this thing going steady now, and that something like this won’t happen again. But we all know that is a heinous fucking lie. I should have made it my “new years resolution” maybe that would work…

What I am going to do though is try and post more shit on here I find entertaining and more thoughts I have about general day to day type crap. Most people probably wont like it, but I couldn’t give a fuck what most people think to be honest.
Basically what I plan to do is do what I do on FB now, but better on my blog, that sounds somewhat achievable… I’m all for setting achievable goals.

Be back soon, KthanksByexoxoxo. 

VENEZUELA and the rest…

I haven’t updated this piece in a while and I’m sure some people are wondering what the fuck is really going on by now… I mean even if it’s only my mum… Hi mum! You’re fucking rad! Yeah I just said my mum is “fucking rad”… well she fucking is! Try and tell me your mum is “fucking rad”… yep… that’s what I thought… hahaha. Big shout out to my Dad and Sister and Bro to! Haven’t forgot about you guys either!

Anyway enough fucking sob stories… all you good c#nts want to know “what the fuck is really going on” and I don’t blame you, because to be honest I got no idea either really… I mean I know I’m in Europe and I know I’m having a fucking sick time… if you think you should be jealous because I’m getting radical in euro-town then you are most definitely right. This place is “zooper cool”. Lets just be honest, if you are an Aussie in Euro land and you are not a total ass bandit everyone is as excited as prince Harry at the golden jubilee to get to know you… 

At the moment I’m in Warsaw Poland. This place is pretty cool. Maybe you know, maybe you don’t, but they just had the Euro Football (soccer) League here and sh*t was pretty big. People everywhere… it was pretty cool, I even went and watched a couple of matches down-town on the big screen. I mean, If you ever had worry’s about coming and checking out Warsaw… or europe for that matter, don’t. This place is really cool! Lot’s of trees and scenery and other rad stuff to check out, I mean have a look if you get the chance! I’m guessing you wont, but maybe one day one of you will.

If you didn’t guess by the photos, or my over-enthusiasm about Warsaw I’m actually currently staying here with Karolina Winkowska. She’s a super cool chick and she has a super cool family to back it up, I couldn’t be more stoked to be here and to be honest her mum is fucking awesome to, I’ve never met anyone more stoked on life than her! haha.

Anyway… I’m off to Germany next, probably on Monday… So wait for an update on that… or not… You know what the deal is.

Peace.

 

HOME

Well, I’m back home. Yeah I didn’t update this thing for a while and I kind of have an excuse… I will elaborate.
Basically after Holland, I drove with Karolina, Hela and Ian down to France for a slider event (that I hoped to go in), but when I got there I got really sick. I mean really sick. I haven’t been that sick in a long time, I had some crazy fevers and was getting really fucking hot at night. One night I got so hot that my clothes were totally wet, my hair was wet like I had a shower and I couldn’t even sleep back on the same sheets again… I thought I was possibly going to die hahaha. So all this didn’t give me much of a chance to write on here.
Now I’m back a home for a few days trying to recover before nationals. I’m going to judge the Nationals and after that I’m heading off to Venezuela again… Only problem is the cost of flying there is about 3 million dollars. I’m still not really sure what I’m going to do, but I hope that if I wait a bit longer something will happen in my favor… Lets see how this pans out haha.